The Quiet Ritual With My Grandfather That Only Made Sense Years Later

When I was seven, visiting my grandfather felt like a small adventure I never questioned. Each week, I’d walk proudly beside him from the corner store to his modest house at the end of the street, believing I was helping him find his way home. Inside, he followed the same gentle routine every time: he took my hands, studied my face with intense care, smiled, and poured us both a glass of grape juice.I thought it was just our special tradition, something that made those afternoons feel safe, familiar, and quietly important. As I grew older, those visits slowly faded into the background of my life. School, friends, and responsibilities took over, and my grandfather became quieter with each passing year.I assumed it was simply age catching up with him. When he eventually passed away, I was left with a lingering sense of regret and a collection of warm but puzzling memories that I never fully examined. At the time, I didn’t realize there was more behind those moments than I had understood as a child.Savannah Guthrie and mom Nancy, are with Jenna Bush Hager on an episode of "Today" show on April 17, 2019. | Source: Getty ImagesYears later, a conversation with my mother changed everything. She explained that during the period when I visited him regularly, my grandfather had already been struggling with memory loss. He forgot ordinary things, but he never forgot that I was coming.

Holding my hands and studying my face wasn’t a habit—it was his way of making sure he remembered me. Even the grape juice had meaning: it helped him take his medication, and sharing it with me turned something difficult into a moment of comfort. That realization reframed my memories completely.

What once seemed like a simple routine was actually an act of love and quiet determination. He wasn’t just spending time with me—he was holding onto me in the only way he knew how. Now, when I think of those visits, I see them as his silent farewell, offered long before either of us understood it.

It reminds me that love doesn’t always announce itself loudly; sometimes, it lives in small, repeated gestures that only reveal their true meaning with time.