{"id":11714,"date":"2026-10-05T13:35:47","date_gmt":"2026-10-05T13:35:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newsamazingday.store\/?p=11714"},"modified":"2026-10-05T13:35:47","modified_gmt":"2026-10-05T13:35:47","slug":"a-retired-officer-goes-to-a-shopp-11712-1-3twhg","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newsamazingday.store\/?p=11714","title":{"rendered":"A retired officer goes to a shopp"},"content":{"rendered":"
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A retired officer goes to a shop and asks the young shopkeeper,\u201cGive me 742 grains of green gram.\u201dThe boy, without speaking a word, quickly weighs 200 grams of green gram and gives it to the customer. Customer asks him, \u201cAre there really 742 grains in this packing?\u201d<\/p>\n

Youngster replies, \u201cOf course, you can go home and count. My dad has counted and established that each kilo of green gram comprises of 3710 grains.Therefore, for 200 grams, it should contain 742 grains.\u201dCustomer gets even more curious and asks the youngster, \u201cWhat does your dad do?\u201d<\/p>\n

Youngster replies: \u201cHe is also retired, like you.\u201dA retired Army General moves into a new apartment after quitting service. Over the next few weeks, his new neighbors realized that on the weekends he would return to his apartment at 2am very drunk, remove his left boot and slam it on the floor, remove his right boot and slam it on the floor even harder and then go to sleep. Since the force of these thunderous slams was enough to wake up almost everyone around him, and this was a family complex no less, the neighbors decided to go to his house and confront him about this one morning.<\/p>\n

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\"An<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

An annoyed older man | Source: Freepik<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u201cMr. General Sir, thank you for your service to our country, and we welcome you to our apartment complex.\u201d<\/p>\n

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\u201cThank you\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSir, we realize that serving the country for so long can really take a toll on someone, and we want you to enjoy your retirement\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

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\u201cOkay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, sir, can you please, kindly, not slam your boots down in the middle of the night once you return home on the weekends? It\u2019s waking us and our kids up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh!<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t know that. I am sorry for waking all of you up like that, how stupid of me, it won\u2019t happy again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you so much, sir\u201d<\/p>\n

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\"An<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

An extremely frustrated young woman | Source: Freepik<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

The next weekend the General returns home drunk and sits on his bed. He removes his left boot and slams it on the floor; removes his right boot and- \u201cWait a minute\u2026 this is what they were talking about, isn\u2019t it?\u201d he says to himself in his drunken stupor.<\/p>\n

He gently places the right boot next to the left one and goes to bed. An hour or so later the General wakes up to the sounds of the doorbell ringing continuously and heavy knocking on his door. He gets up, waddles over to the door and opens it to find a group of his neighbors standing outside in their nightclothes \u2013<\/p>\n

\u201cSIR!<\/p>\n

an you please just slam the other boot already so we can all get some sleep!!?\u201dAllan retired in his early 50\u2019s and started a second career. However, even though he loved his new job, he just couldn\u2019t seem to get to work on time. Every day, he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late.<\/p>\n

But he was a good worker and really sharp, so his boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, one day, his boss called him into the office for a talk. \u201cAllan, I must tell you, I truly like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job, but being late for work nearly every day is quite annoying to me as well as your fellow workers.\u201d<\/p>\n

Allan replied, \u201cYes, sir, I know.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry, but I am working on it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what I like to hear,\u201d his boss said. \u201cHowever, the fact that you consistently come to work late does puzzle me, because I understand that you retired from the United States Air Force, and they have some pretty rigid rules about tardiness. Isn\u2019t that correct?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.<\/p>\n

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\"An<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

An angry old man holding his head | Source: Freepik<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

I did retire from the Air Force, and I\u2019m mighty proud of it!\u201d said Allan. \u201cWell, what did they say when you came in late?\u201d asked his boss. \u201cThey said, \u2018Good morning, General\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

A police car pulled up in front of Grandma Bessie\u2019s house
\nA police car pulled up in front of Grandma Bessie\u2019s house, and out stepped Grandpa Morris.<\/p>\n

The officer politely explained, \u201cMa\u2019am, your husband said he got lost in the park and couldn\u2019t find his way home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Grandma Bessie stared at Morris and said, \u201cLost? You\u2019ve been going to that park for 30 years! How\u2019d you get lost today?\u201d<\/p>\n

Leaning in close so the officer couldn\u2019t hear, Grandpa whispered, \u201cI wasn\u2019t lost.<\/p>\n

I was just too tired to walk home.\u201d<\/p>\n

A policeman pulls over an old man driving a pickup truck
\nA policeman pulls over an old man driving a pickup truck with the bed overflowing with ducks. The officer says sternly, \u201cSir, you can\u2019t have a flock of ducks wandering around downtown. Take them to the zoo immediately!\u201d<\/p>\n

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\"An<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

An angry older man frowning | Source: Freepik<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

The old man nods, agrees, and drives off.<\/p>\n

The next day, the officer spots the same pickup truck, still full of ducks\u2014but this time, all the ducks are wearing sunglasses. Frustrated, the officer pulls the man over again and exclaims, \u201cI thought I told you to take these ducks to the zoo!\u201d<\/p>\n

The old man grins and replies, \u201cI did! But now the little rascals want to go to the beach!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n