{"id":10750,"date":"2026-10-03T13:19:35","date_gmt":"2026-10-03T13:19:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newsamazingday.store\/?p=10750"},"modified":"2026-10-03T13:19:35","modified_gmt":"2026-10-03T13:19:35","slug":"father-murphy-walked-into-a-pub-10741-8-pmaha","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newsamazingday.store\/?p=10750","title":{"rendered":"Father Murphy walked into a pub"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

Father Murphy walked into a pub in Donegal, and said to the first man he meets,\u201cDo you want to go to heaven?\u201dThe man said, \u201cI do, Father.\u201dThe priest said, \u201cThen leave this pub right now!\u201d and approached a second man. \u201cDo you want to go to heaven?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCertainly, Father,\u201d was the man\u2019s reply. \u201cThen leave this den of Satan,\u201d said the priest, as he walked up to O\u2019Toole.\u201cDo you want to go to heaven?\u201d\u201cNo, I don\u2019t, Father,\u201d O\u2019Toole replied. The priest looked him right in the eye, and said, \u201cYou mean to tell me that when you die you don\u2019t want to go to heaven?\u201d<\/p>\n

O\u2019Toole smiled, \u201cOh, when I die, yes, Father. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.\u201dA Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"A<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

A person holding a letter | Source: Pexels<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, \u201cWhere is Jesus today?\u201d<\/p>\n

Steven raised his hand and said, \u201cHe\u2019s in heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mary was called on and answered, \u201cHe\u2019s in my heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, \u201cI know! I know!<\/p>\n

He\u2019s in our bathroom!\u201d<\/p>\n

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.<\/p>\n

And Little Johnny said, \u201cWell\u2026 every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells \u2018Jesus Christ, are you still in there?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

A man is trying to understand the nature of God, time, and the Universe. He asks God,<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"Rear<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Rear view of a woman walking through a doorway | Source: Pexels<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\u201cHow long is a billion years to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

God says, \u201cA billion years is like a second to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

The man asks, \u201cWell, how much is a billion dollars to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

God says, \u201cA billion dollars is like a penny to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

So the man says, \u201cGod, can I have a penny?\u201d<\/p>\n

And God replies, \u201cIn a sec.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"Man<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Man in a suit | Source: Pexels<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

A police car pulled up in front of Grandma Bessie\u2019s house
\nA police car pulled up in front of Grandma Bessie\u2019s house, and out stepped Grandpa Morris. The officer politely explained, \u201cMa\u2019am, your husband said he got lost in the park and couldn\u2019t find his way home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Grandma Bessie stared at Morris and said, \u201cLost?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n