ON MY DAUGHTER’S 5TH BIRTHDAY, MY HUSBAND STRAPPED ME 30 TIMES IN THE WINE CELLAR… BECAUSE HIS MISTRESS FALSELY ACCUSED ME OF DESTROYING HER PRECIOUS SILK WRAP. I CALLED MY 5 UNSTOPPABLE BROTHERS! ‘MAKE THE ASHFORDS PAY FOR EVERYTHING!’
My daughter blew out five pink candles upstairs while my husband locked me in the wine cellar and raised his leather belt…